textpostsandcats:

being a pizza delivery driver is great because literally no one is disappointed to see you

(via stability)

fartgallery:

fartgallery:

The best thing about my roommate getting tumblr is that if he doesn’t reblog my text posts I can just go in his room and beat him up

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he didn’t reblog this

(via encourage)

miaaaaaaauuuuuuu:

me: hell yeah i love talking to my best friend

person: what do you guys talk about

me:

me: uhh

me:

image

(Source: spooky-meow, via userbar)

policecodeforzombieontheloose:

bowtiesontimelords:

So I work at an ice cream store, and this girl walked in today and quietly asked me who the man behind the counter was. I responded that he was my manager. 

"Oh, he’s cute. What’s his name?"

"Justin, but fair warning, he plays for the, uh, other team."

"What team?"

And I swear to fucking god four people (including myself) yelled ‘WILDCATS’ so loud she spilled her drink.

And I thought he was gay 

(Source: quantum-sheep, via gingahninjah)

andiamburdenedwithgloriousfeels:

theweepyfox:

geometricdeathtrap:

So I needed a way to alert the class that I was going to be showing graphic pictures of genitals on my presentation so I decided that putting this on the slide before would work

image

I want this on a shirt.

Please, I want this on underwear

(via gingahninjah)